Turn Your Scars Into Gold

Life happens to all of us. In some way, shape, or form, everyone has felt some type of heartbreak, depression, or pain that left them feeling broken. And if you read my last post, you know that I have too.

And the worst part about feeling broken is not knowing what to do with the pieces. You make yourself feel ugly and small as you stare at the floor. At all of the scattered fragments of what you used to be. Not knowing how to put yourself back together again even if you tried. I have been broken, in many ways I still am. Loving myself, valuing myself, holding myself up to any sort of standards at all has been a major struggle for me. Whatever is was that broke me, is what made me. And I hated it, I wanted to be strong, and feel empowered, confident, and beautiful.

Then I stumbled upon something that helped me see how being broken in itself; can be so beautiful. ♥

I saw an article online called, “Kintsugi, the art of precious scars”. This, along with a photo of a small bowl that was decorated with lines of gold caught my attention.


It is said that the art of Kintsugi was created around the 15th century, when the eighth shogun of the Ashikaga shogunate, named Ashikaga Yoshimasa, broke his favorite teacup.

He sent the teacup to China to get repaired, and was unsuccessful. Not wanting to let the cup go, he decided to try to let some Japanese craftsmen repair it. Impressed with the shogun, the craftsmen decided to turn the cup into a jewel by filling the cracks with gold. Making it more beautiful and more valuable after it had been destroyed.

This concept blew my mind. Think about it. Anytime we break something, a plate, a vase, we throw it away. In our eyes it loses its value, its beauty & its purpose. This is also how I treated myself. I was broken. To me that meant; No more worth, no more beauty, & no more purpose. I felt disposable.

Now I am not going to lie and say that I am magically healed thru this magnificent revelation. That would be false beyond words. I am still very much broken in many aspects. I still struggle everyday with looking myself in the mirror, and learning to love what I see.

However, I am learning more everyday on how to heal myself, and become the woman I want to be.

Self- love I’ve come to realize the hard way, is a very difficult thing. Which sounds ironic considering how easy it sounds. Love yourself. That’s it. Always put YOU first , do what makes YOU happy, & live YOUR best life. I could tell myself those words over & over & over. Reciting it in my mind like my own personal mantra. The problem was, I never put those words into action.

Making the broken, beautiful. I began to think of all the aspects of myself that I didn’t like. How I didn’t feel beautiful, how I felt fat, how I wished I was smarter, how I looked at other women on social media who appeared perfect, & silently wished I was them.

Enough was enough. For me, and for anyone was has ever let their scars & their battle wounds become them.

This is for everyone reading that has ever felt pain, that has ever gave up on themselves. That has ever been broken. Its time to stop letting your broken pieces waste away on the floor as you stare at them in despair. Stop letting them turn you into someone you hate. Pick them up, look at them, & imagine all of the beautiful things that can come from it.

Forget about what broke you. That doesn’t matter anymore. What matters now is how you will put yourself back together. It wont be easy, your going to want to give up. And maybe at first you wont be able to see the beauty that comes from being able to heal yourself. But once you are strong enough to pick up all of the pieces & start placing them back together. Fill them with gold, paint them in glitter, & let them transform you into an even more beautiful unique person. Stop hiding your scars & being ashamed. Wear them with pride. They tell a story that you went thru hell & came back even more beautiful. No one breaks the same, no one heals the same. Everyone’s scars are different, why not make them beautiful?

Let your battles become your biggest lessons & Never stop loving YOU!

XOXO – Jani


BoxyCharm May 2018

Hello Beauties!

Like most other Mommas & girls alike, I love makeup! ❤️ However, being a mom of two children, and being a working person in today’s life, I can’t always afford the good stuff 😩 In comes BoxyCharm! It’s a monthly makeup subscription box of 4-5 FULL-sized items. This includes brushes, eyeshadow palettes, lip products, eye liner, mascara, skin care & so much more! The subscription is $21/month which I think is a HUGE deal seeing as one product alone can cost more that.

This month we got lucky & the BoxyCharm creators blessed us with SIX full size products!

The first is my absolute favorite! I saw some sneak peeks of other subscribers who got it in their box & was so excited to receive mine! It’s by the makeup company Pretty Vulgar, & it’s called The Ink Gel Eyeliner. By far the best gel eyeliner I have ever used. The vintage packaging definitely drew it to me more, I love anything vintage-y & this is the cutest! You can find it on their website here for $24!

The second product was the Cover FX blurring primer. And blurring is exactly what it did. I have combination skin which means depending on the day, some areas of my face are oily & some are dry. Most other primers I’ve tried either dried my skin out more or didn’t hide the imperfections at all. When I used this primer it’s super lightweight & covers up my giant pores and tiny imperfections perfectly! This was easily my second fave from this month! You can find it at Sephora for around $38!

Next up was the lip gloss by Hans Cosmetics in the color Nude Rose. I’m not used to wearing lip glosses due to my unhealthy obsession with mattes, but this definitely brought me right back! It’s smith and thick, but doesn’t stick together (one of the reasons I hated glosses!) It has a yummy smell, kinda like dessert haha & it’s 100% all natural! The color doesn’t come on too harsh & can be paired well with another liquid lipstick! You can find this lipgloss on Amazon for about $15!

A girl can never have too many makeup brushes! Even though I just had to get a new jar for all of mine cause they wouldn’t fit haha. This month we got the P12 all over face brush from Aesthetica Cosmetics. Super soft bristles & is amazing for blending or just as a powder brush! Plus, all of their brushes are made VEGAN & cruelty free! You can get this brush separately on Amazon for about $25.

I got even more excited when I saw that this month also included the Aesthetica Pro Series 3-piece brush set. It includes a eyeliner, brow, & spoolie. Again all of these are vegan & cruelty free! I haven’t had a chance to use them yet but can’t wait to try them out! The set can be found on Amazon for $45!

Last but definitely not least is the PUR Sculptor Highlight & Contour palette! This is a godsend! I was a little weary at first of the highlight because I LOVE shining! ✨ But some highlights don’t always glow as bright as they should. Let me tell you, these highlights were GLOWING! The contour blends so well & left my cheekbones chiseled! Lmao. You can find this palette on their website here for $30!

I have used other subscription boxes before such as Ipsy and Birchbox, & even though I liked them, BoxyCharm is definitely my #1! I hated that with the other boxes I got small sample sizes that would run out so quickly. Also, everything above amounts to almost $200 worth of makeup all for $21!!

As a mom, I’m even more obsessed. It’s hard sometimes between cleaning messes, cooking, cleaning the messes again, to find the time to go shopping for makeup let alone put some on! 😩 But with this I get full size name brand quality makeup delivered right to my door! Mommas like to look pretty too 💋

If you would like to subscribe, click here!

xoxo- Jani ❤️