Welcome to Mommahood 👑

So I was scrolling thru Facebook and I noticed that there are about to be a lot of new mommies out there. Young mommies like me who are about to embark on this new journey for the first time. So I figured this would be the perfect time to write a post just for them.

This Is For You New Mommas 💕

First things first, CONGRATS 🎉

You are about to become the most important person in a tiny person’s life, & go through the most magical life experience!

Being a mommy is great! You have a tiny person who loves you with their entire heart & soul free of any judgment. Someone who will love you unconditionally & will remind you every day that there is always a reason to smile 😊 They teach you more about yourself, then you ever could have learned on your own. You develop a new type of strength that is so different than anything you’ve felt before. The kind that makes Mommas flip cars, and go to the ends of the Earth for their babies.

Life changes. It has a
new meaning, a new purpose, and that purpose will push you towards all of the things you once deemed impossible or too hard. You will wake up each morning and thank God for giving you this gift at a time when you may have needed it most. It will be your greatest blessing. ✨

Now that you know how great it is, lets talk about the things that are not so great & what you will need to survive them including; sleep, patience, headphones & LOTS of Wine 🍷

Some of you probably noticed I didn’t say sleep, there’s a reason for that…

EVERY BABY IS DIFFERENT!

When you’re pregnant with your first child everyone loves to give their input. Especially other “established” mommas. And that is perfectly fine when it comes to things that generally help with all babies. Changing diapers, which bottles give less gas, and which sitters to choose.

However, when it comes to sleep patterns, crying, or feeding. Sometimes listening to the advice of moms before you just isn’t wise.

For example, its great that Suzie from down the street feels compelled to tell you how blessed she was that her first baby was such a “good sleeper”, and “barely ever cried”. Whats not okay is when that input becomes, “hopefully your baby is like that too”. 🚫🚫🚫

Having a baby is a BEAUTIFUL thing, and if someone is already putting negativity in your head about it – RUN! 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ Sometimes during pregnancy, it is best to steer clear of certain people. You don’t have to cut them out of your life completely, but you want your pregnancy to be a calm, exciting experience. Any negative nancys around you can make you stress, & any stress you feel, the baby will too!

No one can tell you what is the best way for you to do things for your child, except YOU! Yes, your new at this, but so were they once. You will figure it out, I promise! Ask for help when needed, but figure out the flow of what works best for you & your baby. Sample bottles, diapers, and food. If your baby doesn’t like something, they will have ZERO problems letting you know!

SLEEP WHEN YOUR BABY SLEEPS!

I remember being told this when I had my son and I thought to myself “thats crazy!” Why would someone choose to nap when there is so much else that needs to be done. I remember being on maternity leave and being so tired ALL THE TIME, but there was never time for sleep. When the baby was awake I was feeding him, changing him, cleaning him. By the time nap time rolled around I saw it as the perfect opportunity to do the things I couldn’t while he was awake like, take a shower, clean the house, do laundry. I did this for a little while, and in the end I turned myself into a Mombie!


(You can find this & really other cool caricatures designed by Jason Wilkins here at https://www.wilkinsartandcreative.com/store/p4/Mombie.html)

For those who don’t know the term, a Mombie is a mom who never stops. She is exhausted, a little insane, & probably sips coffee & wine like they’re water. She forgets a lot of things, which may sometimes include the names of her child(ren).

It got to the point where I could barely function anymore! So I took some of the advice I received (the good kind), and I took a nap when my baby napped.

It was MAGICAL ✨

For an entire day, I ignored all of my household duties and slept when my baby slept, and let me tell you this was advice I was glad I finally decided to follow! We were both a lot happier & it actually made it easier to find the time to do things in between his naps, and when he was calm.

Now, I didn’t sleep every time he napped, but if Momma was tired, Momma was napping 😂

Alright Mommas repeat after me,

WINE IS FINE! 🍷

Trust Me! You’re gonna need it! And if your not an alcohol drinker, Coffee will do, & if you’re not a coffee drinker well then I don’t know what to tell you and you should probably get a therapist. JK (not really)

If you’re breastfeeding, obviously don’t get wine crazy – (Unless you’re pumping & dumping 😉) But if you’re not then sit back, kick those tired feet up & enjoy a nice glass of the finest cheap moscato you can find! You deserve it Momma!

Along with the wine, & sleep, a lesson in patience will soon arise as your little one begins to test every bit of it you have.

Its hard being a mom, by far the hardest thing I have ever taken on. The constant worry if you’re doing it right, if you’re doing too much or if you are not doing enough.

PATIENCE is huge when is comes to being a mom & believe it or not, it is one of the hardest things to learn as a parent.

They are going to test you, like literally test your patience until you’re left staring at them confused, questioning your sanity. They’re going to hear you say no, think you didn’t mean it the first time & then ask you a thousand more times. They’re going to continue touching whatever you asked them not to, then proceed to use their food as art. As hard as it may seem to do, KEEP CALM & MOMMA ON! Remember that wine we talked about? This is the time to pull that bad boy out and take a nice sip. Then take a deep breath, remind yourself how much you love your child & handle it.

Not only do you have to learn how to be patient with your child, but you need to remember to be patient with yourself as well. You won’t always get it right, that’s just life. Sometimes you’re gonna mess up, especially as a new parent. You’ll give them too much candy, or let them go to bed a little too late. I promise it’s okay. As mommas we learn as our babies grow, and in return we grow as well.

But in order to learn and grow, we need to be patient with ourselves and understand that sometimes, things are gonna get hard. Really hard. And its in those difficult moments, sitting on the floor, tears running down our faces, so exhausted from life that we need to remind ourselves why we try so hard to begin with. That little face that looks at you like you are the most perfect person in the world. And as mommas we need to pick ourselves up and keep pushing. Because if we don’t fight to give our babies the best life possible, then who will?

Okay Mommas I think I have gone on long enough. Bottom line is this, yes momming is hard. But I swear it’s worth every tear, headache & stress pimple you’ll get. YOU were chosen to be a mom for a reason, and as soon as you look into your babies eyes for the first time, you’ll understand that reason perfectly.

Congrats again to you all & Welcome to Mommahood 💜

xoxo – Janii

Momma Guilt

A.K.A The I feel like a bad mom syndrome.

We have ALL been there at some point or another. And lets face it, that sinking feeling deep down that you may have disappointed your child in some way or done something that you think maybe moms shouldn’t do, SUCKS!

With all of the things we see on social media nowadays, I often find myself like many others, trying to be #MomGoals. From feeding your kids only organic food, and making sure their in bed at 8pm everyday, to always sharing your snacks and never being able to go pee in private. We are bombarded with pages and photos of moms whom I have deemed #SuperMommas. They make amazing healthy meals, and do DIY crafts everyday with their kids. And for some reason this causes us to question our own parenting and wonder if because we don’t do this, does that make us less of a mom? Social media has become a feeding ground for outsiders to dictate and judge on how another woman should parent. Moms are constantly being shamed and hated on for doing things or acting in a way that some others wouldn’t deem appropriate. And frankly, I’m tired of it.

Nobody is perfect. No mom is perfect. We have all made mistakes in parenting, no matter what it was.

There have been so many times that I felt guilty as a mom, and so many things I wish I could change. When my son was trying to talk me about something he was excited about, but I was too busy with my own stuff to listen that I brushed him away. And thinking about it later that day, and remembering his face drop and walk away, leaving me to feel like the worst mom in the world.

And for the smaller stuff too. When I was too tired to make dinner so I made my daughter dino nuggets, in the microwave. And for not reading books at bed time & not having any good reason not to. And for all the times I said “not right now baby” and “maybe next time” every time they asked me to play.

Guilt is not a bad thing to feel. It shows that you’re a good person with feelings. That knows the difference between right and wrong. And in some aspects of life, feeling guilt can be a good thing. Showing that we understand when we were wrong. But there are some situations that can arise where feeling guilty is just plain BULLSHIT!

Us moms are like super humans! We clean, cook, work, take care of babies, take care of ourselves, clean again, organize & with whatever time we have at the end of the day; we breathe. However, despite our amazing superhuman abilities, we are just that, Humans. And humans make mistakes. As long as you are always being the best version of you & are always doing your best at all you do, nothing else matters.

So Stop questioning yourself if your child watches too much TV, or if they are on the right schedule or not. Stop wondering if your holding them too long. Mommas I have been around a lot of kids in my life. From working in daycares to being raised in a GINORMOUS family! ( Thank you Santiago’s! lol) So many different kids from so many different backgrounds. And this is what I have to constantly remind myself of every time I feel that Mom Guilt creeping back in.

Every time I think back to all of the children I’ve watched grow, I try to remember if I ever noticed anything about them. And I couldn’t. I could never tell if any watched too much TV at home, if one was only raised on a vegan diet, or if another didn’t play outside enough. I don’t remember any of those ever being something that stood out to me ever.

But when your a mom, an aunt, a cousin, there are certain things that you begin to notice with children. A difference between some, that stands more than it would’ve before. You start to notice which ones are constantly showed love to on a daily basis, and which ones are not. You notice which ones are taught to be confident, and which are often put down. These are what matter.

Kiss your babies, shower them in love & adoration. Cuddle them at night, & let them stay if their scared. Remind them their loved and you will always be there.

All of you Mommas are so amazing! Be proud of the kids you are raising. Being a mom is not easy & we all kick ass at it everyday! So don’t feel bad for being selfish sometimes or wanting time for yourself. Its okay. You deserve it.

Even when you think your not doing good enough, I promise you you’re doing great! And to the most important people, your babies; your the most amazing #SuperMomma in the world!

 

XOXO – Jani

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To My Favorite Mommas ❤️

In honor of Mother’s Day, I wanted to  write a special post dedicated to the 4 most important Mommas in my life!

To my Grandmother..❤️

Abuela, to me, you were the definition of a SuperMom. You had 17 kids, and somehow made it thru without going nuts lol. You were so strong and so beautiful and I will never forget you. I can still see your smile when I would brush your hair, paint your nails, or do your makeup. I miss you so much.. all I can hope is that your up there looking down at me smiling again. I hope that your proud of me, and of the mom I became. I can’t wait til the day I get to see you again in that Heavenly place. Rest in the Sweetest Paradise Abuela Tere, I love you. Bendicion ❤️

 

To my Mother… ❤️

Mom, I know I haven’t been the easiest child to deal with. I know I haven’t been the best, but I want you to know I appreciate EVERYTHING you have ever done for me. I understand all of the worries you had, all of the stress. And I’m sorry for everything I put you through. I can only hope to someday be half of the Mother you are. You raised 4 kids all on your own & I will never know how you did it, .. but you did. You kept us fed, clothed & happy. And I thank you for that. You are the strongest woman I know, and I admire you so much. You have been thru  so much in your life & gotten thru it all. You don’t take shit from anyone & that is one of the things I love about you. I am who I am because of you, because of all of the lessons and love you instilled in me. You taught me to never give up, & it’s for that reason I am writing this blog today. Thank you for being you. Im gonna make you proud mom. I love you ❤️

To my Sister Jazmin ❤️

Aka My twin! Let me start this by saying I am so proud of the Mom you are! Your kids are so lucky to have you. Growing up, we didn’t always get along. In fact, I can remember a few different occasions of you punching me in the head.. lol Anywho, we became best friends, and you became someone I looked up to and admired. You were so pretty and so confident. I wanted to be just like you. And now all these years later, I’m happy to say that’s still true. You are the epitome of what a wife & mom should be. Thank you for being there whenever I need you and for always supporting my dreams, no matter how crazy. And thank you for always believing in me, especially when I don’t believe in myself. You always tell me exactly how it is, even if I don’t like it. And I love you for that too. So thank you for being you. I love you ❤️

To My Sister Jessica ❤️

When we were little, I kind of thought of you as my second mom. I was afraid to do certain things around you because I didn’t wanna get in trouble. And I didn’t want you to be mad at me. It’s still the same now.. Sometimes I get scared to talk to you because I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed in me. I don’t think you ever knew this, but your opinion has always been one of the ones that mattered most. And every time I knew I disappointed you really hurt me. That’s why the day I told you I was pregnant with Jaziah I brought someone with me. I was scared lol. Your my big sister & all I ever wanted was to make you proud. Im sorry we’re not as close as I wish we were and I hope in time that changes. But let me take this time to tell you how proud I am of you. Since the day Lani was born you haven’t been anything less than amazing! You raised her on your own & made it look so easy. I was having a hard time getting the hang of being a young mom & watching you with her pushed me to be better for Ziah. Thank for all of the tough love nobody else would give, thank you for never turning your back on me as much as you may have wanted to. And thank you for teaching your little sister how to be a better mom & woman! You have no idea how much I admire you. Your strength, your perseverance, you are a phenomenal person & I thank you for being my big sister! I love you ❤️

 

Xoxo-Jani ❤️

It’s Our Day Mommas ❤️

40BBED71-1C73-4CC8-A1D8-8C200B9F59A1        It’s our day Mommas! ❤️ I know I’m a day late but I was so exhausted last night from the weekend & just wanted to relax before bed. However, let me start off by wishing a Happy Mother’s Day to all of you beautiful, hard working Mommas! Continue being the amazing women you are!

I decided to keep this Mother’s Day super low key! All I wanted was to have a nice, quiet day with my little family.  After spending the morning sleeping in, ( A little too late lol) we all got ready and headed to a place near our house called Coggshall Park!

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It’s a beautiful state park here in Fitchburg, MA. It has a lake in the middle, a park, and a ton of hiking trails all around. We have actually been here once before on the other side of the park, but it was our first time coming to the lake.

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Once we got there, you could see this beautiful small stone gazebo that stuck out of the woods, and it turns out there was a path that led around the entire lake. My kids weren’t really focused on the path as much as they were having fun along the way. My daughter loved the duckies!

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Walking thru the path was so beautiful! I don’t think I would’ve chosen to spen my Mother’s Day any other way.

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My family means everything in the world to me & being able to spend such a beautiful day with them made me the happiest mommy in the world!

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Without these two amazing babies, I would be able to celebrate this day. You made me a mom, the most important job title I have ever held! You taught me patience, and love & taught me it’s okay to be a little messy sometimes. Thank you for choosing me ❤️

 

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&& To all of you amazing Mommas ❤️

Whether your a single momma, a working momma, or a stay at home momma. I understand the late nights, the long days. I understand the messy hair, the no makeup & the days you just don’t care about a shower because your too exhausted. I’m here to say your not alone. Keep pushing & keep being the amazing Mommas you all are! To others you may be a regular person, but to your babies you are SuperMom & that is the only opinion that matters! Here’s to you Mommas 😘

 

Xoxo-Jani ❤️

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