BoxyCharm June 2018

IMG_0564This is my FAVORITE box so far!

This June 2018 box had more of a summer tropical vibe, which I loved! The theme was “Carribean Queen”, and this box nailed it! Especially  because of the Alamar Cosmestics “Reina De La Sur” palette! ♥

I absolutely LOVE this palette from Alamar Cosmetics! The tropical, Caribbean inspired colors are perfect for the Summer! The red, yellow & green tones blend together perfectly to make any look POP!

It isn’t too pigmented so the colors don’t come on too harsh, which I love because I like being able to add color on as I go.

You can get this palette here at the Alamar Cosmetics website for $28.00.

My next favorite was the Battington Lashes eyelash set in “Monroe”. First, I am a huge fan of cute packaging! & This packaging was super cute. The little gold and white box was very intriguing and opened up to a pair of very soft, beautiful lashes! I cannot wait to use these bad boys!

These lashes and other styles can be purchased here for about $28.00.

One of the things I love about BoxyCharm is how usually every box comes with a brush or some sort of brush set! I LOVEE makeup brushes, theres so many different kinds & love finding new ones I can use for different things.

This box featured Luxie Rose Gold brushes. These are the brushes from left to right.

  1. The Precision Foundation Brush #660. ($18.00 on the Luxie website) I have never really been of brushes for foundation, especially the flat thin ones. And with beauty blenders I find that I end up using more foundation because so much product is getting absorbed into the beauty blender itself. This was a new take on the foundation brush for me & I need to say I love it! It distributes the foundation so smoothly & blends it out perfectly without leaving lines or strokes.
  2. The second brush is the Tapered Highlighting face brush #522. ($24.00 on the Luxie website) This brush is absolutely perfect for highlighting the cheekbones & forehead area! Because it is a little thick, and fluffy I wouldn’t recommend for highlighting the eyebrows or smaller areas of the face. I also really liked this brush for blush, it was the perfect size!
  3. The final brush in the set was the Duo Fiber Powder Brush #516. ($22.00 on the Luxie website) I used this brush for two separate things. The first time I used it for my bronzer, and I loved how it didn’t pack the color too much which made it easier to blend into my foundation without having color patches. The second time I used this brush was for setting powder, and I am now in love with this brush! Being a face brush makes is so versatile & the super soft bristles definitely help!

The brushes are sold here on the Luxie website!

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This next product I was super excited to try when I found out it was going to be in the boxy because of all of the reviews on it!

Sol De Janeiro Brazilian Bum Bum Cream. It retails here on the website for $10 – $45 depending on which of the 3 sizes you choose from!

It is an all-over body cream infused with the all-powerful Guaraná extract, which is very rich in caffeine. This along with Cupuaçu Butter, Açaí Oil, and Coconut oil are said to tighten the appearance of skin and make it glow!

I haven’t been using it long enough to see if it really tightens your skin, but the tropical smell is amazing! Its a great moisturizer that leaves your skin feeling soft & so smooth!

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This was one of the products I wasn’t too excited about, but because everything else was so great I didn’t mind much. Its the Jonteblu Waterproof Eyeliner. It can be bought here on their website for $5.00!

The one reason I did love this product is because its waterproof. And if your a person who has worn non waterproof eyeliner and cried, or got drunk, got sweaty, etc.. You understand how amazing waterproof eyeliner is! And in that sense its a godsend! It stayed on all day and didn’t smudge at all! Even thru the heat & the sweat!

Now the only problem I did have with it. It didn’t go on as easy as I wanted to at first, its a little dry. I wet the tip and that made it go on a little easier, but you definitely need to be patient or you could mess up & get it everywhere. ( Like me!)

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Last but definitely not least, is the Ofra Long-lasting Liquid Lipstick. I loved the chocolate right away, as I’m a HUGE fan of neutral, tan & nude colors for my lips! The Ofra Cosmetics website is under construction so I couldn’t post the link, but it retails separately for $21.00!

The formula was great! It was super smooth and not sticky at all. I HATE when liquid lipsticks are sticky. 9 out of 10 times those are the ones that peel and feather after they dry. This stayed on pretty well, I only reapplied once & it was because I was a slob when I took a sip of my drink.

The only thing I didn’t like about this lipstick was the smell. It had a strong sweet/chocolatey smell. If you like your lips to smell like dessert than this is perfect for you. I’m not a fan and could do without it but to each his own!

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This was definitely may favorite box so far! I loved the carribean theme & the products were beautiful! I cant wait to see what will be in the July box!

**IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SUBSCRIBE TO BOXYCHARM OR SEE THEIR DIFFERENT SUBSCRIPTION PLANS CLICK HERE!**

 

Thank you for reading Sweeties,

XOXO – Janii

 

 

 

Turn Your Scars Into Gold

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Life happens to all of us. In some way, shape, or form, everyone has felt some type of heartbreak, depression, or pain that left them feeling broken. And if you read my last post, you know that I have too.

And the worst part about feeling broken is not knowing what to do with the pieces. You make yourself feel ugly and small as you stare at the floor. At all of the scattered fragments of what you used to be. Not knowing how to put yourself back together again even if you tried. I have been broken, in many ways I still am. Loving myself, valuing myself, holding myself up to any sort of standards at all has been a major struggle for me. Whatever is was that broke me, is what made me. And I hated it, I wanted to be strong, and feel empowered, confident, and beautiful.

Then I stumbled upon something that helped me see how being broken in itself; can be so beautiful. ♥

I saw an article online called, “Kintsugi, the art of precious scars”. This, along with a photo of a small bowl that was decorated with lines of gold caught my attention.

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It is said that the art of Kintsugi was created around the 15th century, when the eighth shogun of the Ashikaga shogunate, named Ashikaga Yoshimasa, broke his favorite teacup.

He sent the teacup to China to get repaired, and was unsuccessful. Not wanting to let the cup go, he decided to try to let some Japanese craftsmen repair it. Impressed with the shogun, the craftsmen decided to turn the cup into a jewel by filling the cracks with gold. Making it more beautiful and more valuable after it had been destroyed.

This concept blew my mind. Think about it. Anytime we break something, a plate, a vase, we throw it away. In our eyes it loses its value, its beauty & its purpose. This is also how I treated myself. I was broken. To me that meant; No more worth, no more beauty, & no more purpose. I felt disposable.

Now I am not going to lie and say that I am magically healed thru this magnificent revelation. That would be false beyond words. I am still very much broken in many aspects. I still struggle everyday with looking myself in the mirror, and learning to love what I see.

However, I am learning more everyday on how to heal myself, and become the woman I want to be.

Self- love I’ve come to realize the hard way, is a very difficult thing. Which sounds ironic considering how easy it sounds. Love yourself. That’s it. Always put YOU first , do what makes YOU happy, & live YOUR best life. I could tell myself those words over & over & over. Reciting it in my mind like my own personal mantra. The problem was, I never put those words into action.

Making the broken, beautiful. I began to think of all the aspects of myself that I didn’t like. How I didn’t feel beautiful, how I felt fat, how I wished I was smarter, how I looked at other women on social media who appeared perfect, & silently wished I was them.

Enough was enough. For me, and for anyone was has ever let their scars & their battle wounds become them.

This is for everyone reading that has ever felt pain, that has ever gave up on themselves. That has ever been broken. Its time to stop letting your broken pieces waste away on the floor as you stare at them in despair. Stop letting them turn you into someone you hate. Pick them up, look at them, & imagine all of the beautiful things that can come from it.

Forget about what broke you. That doesn’t matter anymore. What matters now is how you will put yourself back together. It wont be easy, your going to want to give up. And maybe at first you wont be able to see the beauty that comes from being able to heal yourself. But once you are strong enough to pick up all of the pieces & start placing them back together. Fill them with gold, paint them in glitter, & let them transform you into an even more beautiful unique person. Stop hiding your scars & being ashamed. Wear them with pride. They tell a story that you went thru hell & came back even more beautiful. No one breaks the same, no one heals the same. Everyone’s scars are different, why not make them beautiful?

Let your battles become your biggest lessons & Never stop loving YOU!

XOXO – Jani

Kintsugi

A Piece of the Bitter

Hello Beauties,

The past two weeks have been pretty hard for me. I cried a lot. I questioned my self as a mother, partner, friend & as a person. I doubted myself in every way, shape & form. This is what happens. Every time that pinch of darkness comes sneaking back in, reminding me it was never really gone. So I did the same thing I always do. I broke down and let it in. And all of the self-empowerment, all of the self-love & strength I had for myself, gone. Everything I worked so hard for since the last time I fell down that hole, was gone. If your reading this, your probably wondering what happened? What made me so sad? The answer… absolutely nothing.

The first time I was told I had anxiety and depression, I was a senior in high school. And up until that point I always thought there was something wrong with me. Why couldn’t I just be happy? I tried to smile more, laugh more. I painted a different face on myself every morning in hopes that it would somehow change the way I felt inside too. But it never did. I started talking to my guidance counselor who referred me to a psychiatrist.

I was so scared to go. Did this mean I was crazy? What if people find out? I was so worried that there was something actually wrong with me. After a few sessions, I still felt sad. But now I knew how to deal with it better. That was when writing saved me. I started journals, wrote poems. Sometime I even just scratched out a page with a pen as I cried just to get it out. All of my hurt and pain was being poured out on the pages, & in the end I had something so beautiful, so BitterSweet.

It doesn’t happen as often anymore as it did before. And I’ve gotten a lot better at dealing with it. But when it does happen, it hits hard. I can feel it coming in the pit of my stomach, and dread just consumes my entire being. The only thing that makes it harder now is the fact that now, I’m a mother ❤️ I have two beautiful happy children who look at me everyday with love in their eyes and happiness in their sous. They look at me, their momma, and expect me to be strong and happy for them. To keep it together and push through. But what happens when I can’t! What happens on the days that no matter how hard I try, I can’t pull myself out of it. Those days are the worst. Those days were the past two weeks.

Being depressed as a mom makes you feel as though you’ve failed in a way. It makes you feel terrible and that in turn makes the depression worse. I tell myself my kids deserve better. I feel bad for not playing with them when they ask me. I get mad at myself and scream at myself to just snap out of it for them! But I can’t.

I have an amazing support system. Friends, family & my boyfriend. Amazing people who constantly remind me that it is okay. That I’m a good mom, and I’ll get thru it. But their will always be the people who don’t understand what it is like to deal with a mental illness that you can’t control & will make you feel bad for feeling bad. And if you don’t have a support system or people to help you thru it, you might start to believe them.

Hence the reason for this post. I will be your support system. I will be your help. Because I know what it’s like to wake up in the morning and wish the day was already over before it began. To look at yourself I’m the mirror & not be able to feel anything good about yourself. Even if your not a mom, this is for you. ❤️

It is okay to not be okay. It is okay to feel sad and hurt and broken. It is okay to not smile everyday. Someone once told me that I feel too much & I use to think that it was a bad thing. But now I don’t. Feeling a lot means I have a big heart, it means my soul is good. So if sometimes feeling too much means pain & hurt then that’s okay. Take the good with the bad.

But the one thing that is so important, is to not let yourself stay at the bottom. Remind yourself of your strength, of your beauty, of the fact that there is no one else in the world like you. If there is something in your life making you unhappy, change it. Whether it be relationships, work, or within yourself. Your own self-love is so important. It’s okay to feel sad, as long as you remember that happiness exists.

I created this blog as a place one can go to for acceptance, and understanding. And just to vent. So if you read this post & have felt any of this before, if you feel alone or unhappy and need someone to listen.  If you just need a friend period.  Comment, send me a message. Reach out. Mental illness is nothing to play around with. There is always someone willing to listen. I am one of them ❤️

 

If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, and are having thought of suicide or self help, please reach out to someone you love & get help. Or call the National Suicide Prevention Line at 1-800-273-8255.

You never know what someone is dealing with in their life or in their head. Spread love & kindness always 🌹❤️

Xoxo- Jani 💋

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BoxyCharm May 2018

Hello Beauties!

Like most other Mommas & girls alike, I love makeup! ❤️ However, being a mom of two children, and being a working person in today’s life, I can’t always afford the good stuff 😩 In comes BoxyCharm! It’s a monthly makeup subscription box of 4-5 FULL-sized items. This includes brushes, eyeshadow palettes, lip products, eye liner, mascara, skin care & so much more! The subscription is $21/month which I think is a HUGE deal seeing as one product alone can cost more that.

This month we got lucky & the BoxyCharm creators blessed us with SIX full size products!

The first is my absolute favorite! I saw some sneak peeks of other subscribers who got it in their box & was so excited to receive mine! It’s by the makeup company Pretty Vulgar, & it’s called The Ink Gel Eyeliner. By far the best gel eyeliner I have ever used. The vintage packaging definitely drew it to me more, I love anything vintage-y & this is the cutest! You can find it on their website here for $24!

The second product was the Cover FX blurring primer. And blurring is exactly what it did. I have combination skin which means depending on the day, some areas of my face are oily & some are dry. Most other primers I’ve tried either dried my skin out more or didn’t hide the imperfections at all. When I used this primer it’s super lightweight & covers up my giant pores and tiny imperfections perfectly! This was easily my second fave from this month! You can find it at Sephora for around $38!

Next up was the lip gloss by Hans Cosmetics in the color Nude Rose. I’m not used to wearing lip glosses due to my unhealthy obsession with mattes, but this definitely brought me right back! It’s smith and thick, but doesn’t stick together (one of the reasons I hated glosses!) It has a yummy smell, kinda like dessert haha & it’s 100% all natural! The color doesn’t come on too harsh & can be paired well with another liquid lipstick! You can find this lipgloss on Amazon for about $15!

A girl can never have too many makeup brushes! Even though I just had to get a new jar for all of mine cause they wouldn’t fit haha. This month we got the P12 all over face brush from Aesthetica Cosmetics. Super soft bristles & is amazing for blending or just as a powder brush! Plus, all of their brushes are made VEGAN & cruelty free! You can get this brush separately on Amazon for about $25.

I got even more excited when I saw that this month also included the Aesthetica Pro Series 3-piece brush set. It includes a eyeliner, brow, & spoolie. Again all of these are vegan & cruelty free! I haven’t had a chance to use them yet but can’t wait to try them out! The set can be found on Amazon for $45!

Last but definitely not least is the PUR Sculptor Highlight & Contour palette! This is a godsend! I was a little weary at first of the highlight because I LOVE shining! ✨ But some highlights don’t always glow as bright as they should. Let me tell you, these highlights were GLOWING! The contour blends so well & left my cheekbones chiseled! Lmao. You can find this palette on their website here for $30!

I have used other subscription boxes before such as Ipsy and Birchbox, & even though I liked them, BoxyCharm is definitely my #1! I hated that with the other boxes I got small sample sizes that would run out so quickly. Also, everything above amounts to almost $200 worth of makeup all for $21!!

As a mom, I’m even more obsessed. It’s hard sometimes between cleaning messes, cooking, cleaning the messes again, to find the time to go shopping for makeup let alone put some on! 😩 But with this I get full size name brand quality makeup delivered right to my door! Mommas like to look pretty too 💋

If you would like to subscribe, click here!

xoxo- Jani ❤️

To My Favorite Mommas ❤️

In honor of Mother’s Day, I wanted to  write a special post dedicated to the 4 most important Mommas in my life!

To my Grandmother..❤️

Abuela, to me, you were the definition of a SuperMom. You had 17 kids, and somehow made it thru without going nuts lol. You were so strong and so beautiful and I will never forget you. I can still see your smile when I would brush your hair, paint your nails, or do your makeup. I miss you so much.. all I can hope is that your up there looking down at me smiling again. I hope that your proud of me, and of the mom I became. I can’t wait til the day I get to see you again in that Heavenly place. Rest in the Sweetest Paradise Abuela Tere, I love you. Bendicion ❤️

 

To my Mother… ❤️

Mom, I know I haven’t been the easiest child to deal with. I know I haven’t been the best, but I want you to know I appreciate EVERYTHING you have ever done for me. I understand all of the worries you had, all of the stress. And I’m sorry for everything I put you through. I can only hope to someday be half of the Mother you are. You raised 4 kids all on your own & I will never know how you did it, .. but you did. You kept us fed, clothed & happy. And I thank you for that. You are the strongest woman I know, and I admire you so much. You have been thru  so much in your life & gotten thru it all. You don’t take shit from anyone & that is one of the things I love about you. I am who I am because of you, because of all of the lessons and love you instilled in me. You taught me to never give up, & it’s for that reason I am writing this blog today. Thank you for being you. Im gonna make you proud mom. I love you ❤️

To my Sister Jazmin ❤️

Aka My twin! Let me start this by saying I am so proud of the Mom you are! Your kids are so lucky to have you. Growing up, we didn’t always get along. In fact, I can remember a few different occasions of you punching me in the head.. lol Anywho, we became best friends, and you became someone I looked up to and admired. You were so pretty and so confident. I wanted to be just like you. And now all these years later, I’m happy to say that’s still true. You are the epitome of what a wife & mom should be. Thank you for being there whenever I need you and for always supporting my dreams, no matter how crazy. And thank you for always believing in me, especially when I don’t believe in myself. You always tell me exactly how it is, even if I don’t like it. And I love you for that too. So thank you for being you. I love you ❤️

To My Sister Jessica ❤️

When we were little, I kind of thought of you as my second mom. I was afraid to do certain things around you because I didn’t wanna get in trouble. And I didn’t want you to be mad at me. It’s still the same now.. Sometimes I get scared to talk to you because I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed in me. I don’t think you ever knew this, but your opinion has always been one of the ones that mattered most. And every time I knew I disappointed you really hurt me. That’s why the day I told you I was pregnant with Jaziah I brought someone with me. I was scared lol. Your my big sister & all I ever wanted was to make you proud. Im sorry we’re not as close as I wish we were and I hope in time that changes. But let me take this time to tell you how proud I am of you. Since the day Lani was born you haven’t been anything less than amazing! You raised her on your own & made it look so easy. I was having a hard time getting the hang of being a young mom & watching you with her pushed me to be better for Ziah. Thank for all of the tough love nobody else would give, thank you for never turning your back on me as much as you may have wanted to. And thank you for teaching your little sister how to be a better mom & woman! You have no idea how much I admire you. Your strength, your perseverance, you are a phenomenal person & I thank you for being my big sister! I love you ❤️

 

Xoxo-Jani ❤️