A.K.A The I feel like a bad mom syndrome.
We have ALL been there at some point or another. And lets face it, that sinking feeling deep down that you may have disappointed your child in some way or done something that you think maybe moms shouldn’t do, SUCKS!
With all of the things we see on social media nowadays, I often find myself like many others, trying to be #MomGoals. From feeding your kids only organic food, and making sure their in bed at 8pm everyday, to always sharing your snacks and never being able to go pee in private. We are bombarded with pages and photos of moms whom I have deemed #SuperMommas. They make amazing healthy meals, and do DIY crafts everyday with their kids. And for some reason this causes us to question our own parenting and wonder if because we don’t do this, does that make us less of a mom? Social media has become a feeding ground for outsiders to dictate and judge on how another woman should parent. Moms are constantly being shamed and hated on for doing things or acting in a way that some others wouldn’t deem appropriate. And frankly, I’m tired of it.
Nobody is perfect. No mom is perfect. We have all made mistakes in parenting, no matter what it was.
There have been so many times that I felt guilty as a mom, and so many things I wish I could change. When my son was trying to talk me about something he was excited about, but I was too busy with my own stuff to listen that I brushed him away. And thinking about it later that day, and remembering his face drop and walk away, leaving me to feel like the worst mom in the world.
And for the smaller stuff too. When I was too tired to make dinner so I made my daughter dino nuggets, in the microwave. And for not reading books at bed time & not having any good reason not to. And for all the times I said “not right now baby” and “maybe next time” every time they asked me to play.
Guilt is not a bad thing to feel. It shows that you’re a good person with feelings. That knows the difference between right and wrong. And in some aspects of life, feeling guilt can be a good thing. Showing that we understand when we were wrong. But there are some situations that can arise where feeling guilty is just plain BULLSHIT!
Us moms are like super humans! We clean, cook, work, take care of babies, take care of ourselves, clean again, organize & with whatever time we have at the end of the day; we breathe. However, despite our amazing superhuman abilities, we are just that, Humans. And humans make mistakes. As long as you are always being the best version of you & are always doing your best at all you do, nothing else matters.
So Stop questioning yourself if your child watches too much TV, or if they are on the right schedule or not. Stop wondering if your holding them too long. Mommas I have been around a lot of kids in my life. From working in daycares to being raised in a GINORMOUS family! ( Thank you Santiago’s! lol) So many different kids from so many different backgrounds. And this is what I have to constantly remind myself of every time I feel that Mom Guilt creeping back in.
Every time I think back to all of the children I’ve watched grow, I try to remember if I ever noticed anything about them. And I couldn’t. I could never tell if any watched too much TV at home, if one was only raised on a vegan diet, or if another didn’t play outside enough. I don’t remember any of those ever being something that stood out to me ever.
But when your a mom, an aunt, a cousin, there are certain things that you begin to notice with children. A difference between some, that stands more than it would’ve before. You start to notice which ones are constantly showed love to on a daily basis, and which ones are not. You notice which ones are taught to be confident, and which are often put down. These are what matter.
Kiss your babies, shower them in love & adoration. Cuddle them at night, & let them stay if their scared. Remind them their loved and you will always be there.
All of you Mommas are so amazing! Be proud of the kids you are raising. Being a mom is not easy & we all kick ass at it everyday! So don’t feel bad for being selfish sometimes or wanting time for yourself. Its okay. You deserve it.
Even when you think your not doing good enough, I promise you you’re doing great! And to the most important people, your babies; your the most amazing #SuperMomma in the world!
XOXO – Jani